Well done

A pat on the back for a task well done is always reassuring. Sincere and warm words of appreciation go a long way in boosting someone’s self confidence. On the other hand, reprimanding and scathing words have just the opposite effect. I am sure most of you will agree with me on this.

I have been fortunate to come across more people who belong to the former category than the latter. It is because of their encouragement and appreciation that I have been able to bring out the best in me. Discover some of my hidden talents and polish them further. They have inspired me to perform better and work harder. Having felt its power, ‘Appreciation’ is something that comes more easily to me and from the heart. And yes, it works wonders.

I am not saying that we must resolve to flattery. There is a difference between sincere appreciation/ encouragement and flattery. Something to the effect – ‘This is good, but can be better.’ is more encouraging than saying ‘What you have done is pathetic.’ It is simply the choice of words that make all the difference. Only something close to the first option can inspire someone to perform better.

There are few people who are willing to give that first chance; who allow us to make mistakes and learn from them.  Others are impatient and expect us to nail it at the very first attempt. But what we all forget is that we all began somewhere. For all of us there was a day of ‘firsts’ – first step, first day at school, first job interview, first pay check, first blunder…and behind it someone who gave us that first chance. Once we’ve crossed this stage and gone higher up the rung we look down on those still taking the first step.  And the first thing we forget is the ‘art of appreciation’. It happens to all of us. But the important thing is to realise and rectify. It is better to help those at the initial stages and raise capable people and a tip for that is, well yes….Appreciation.  

Prayer is not magic

My eyes shut tight, hands joined in prayer and begging to an external being for a desire in my heart to be urgently fulfilled - This is what prayer meant to me for a major part of my life. It was an attitude of resignation where I had to wait for an external being to help me out of a certain situation.  It made me feel helpless and hopeless at times. It is only in recent years, six to be precise that my understanding of prayer and its power has changed – Prayer isn’t so simplistic and certainly not magic!

Even with my new understanding, prayer still stems from a desire- to be happy.  Initially the desire was more for materialistic things. Now the focus is more on cultivating the inner richness and purity of heart; on self empowerment. I no longer pray to an external being to land me everything I desire in my lap. In fact I have stopped wanting easy solutions because when things come the hard way they bring an opportunity for self transformation in disguise.

Every time I sit down to chant Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo, I am filled with determination to work for my desires to be fulfilled. I feel more in control of my life/destiny. After my chanting session, that I religiously conduct every morning and evening, I feel refreshed, rejuvenated, happy and most importantly positive. A renewed life force wells forth from within and I am ready to give all it takes to realise my dream. It is not like the challenges before me disappear miraculously after I chant. Neither does some external being arrive to wave a magic wand and take away my problems. Prayer changes my determination and attitude. And once that changes, you are bound to experience the inconceivable.

A prolific peace activist Dr. Daisaku Ikeda says – “When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. On the other hand, if you think, “This is never going to work out,” then at that instant every cell in your being will be deflated and give up the fight.”
Are you facing a deadlock in your life? Are you stuck and don’t know which way to go? Just check and renew your determination and let the magic unfold in your life.
P.S – Prayer for me is chanting Nam-myoho-renge kyo. It could be something else for you – chanting Gayatri mantra, Hanuman chalisa, Quran, Bible. Irrespective of what you chant, the most important thing is your attitude in prayer. Is it the defeatist approach or infused with determination? That I believe is the more important question.