Sharing Joy and Sorrow

Over my years of existence, I have observed a certain trait in human behaviour – that we are all quick to divulge details about all the ‘good’ things happening in our lives; the latest gadget we have bought, or the loving relationship with spouse or the handsome salary package and so on and so forth. But it isn’t the same with all the ‘bad’ things that happen to us. Or let’s say those that make us miserable and bring on suffering. This part of our lives is best left unsaid or if it all shared with very few. There is hesitation and discomfort in sharing our painful struggles. Ever thought about it? The reason to my mind is the fear of making the personal public. The fear of how others will react to it and then that persistently lingering question ‘what will they think of me and my situation?’ But does living in denial help in any way? In fact talking about it takes a great deal of courage and in the long run we benefit ourselves and others too.

I used to belong to the league of people who would keep their problems to themselves until the day I was inspired by someone else’s story of battling problems similar to mine. It gave me tremendous hope and assurance that I too could work around my situation. I realised that difficulties are part and parcel of each individual’s life and sharing them with each other is cathartic and can unknowingly encourage another.  Since then I have been a lot more vocal about my problems and without meaning to sound boastful I have actually inspired a few with my example. At this point I must mention that the intention behind sharing the problem is very important. Doing it with the intention to ridicule another or sympathise with oneself is quite futile. It will result in nothing but meaningless gossip and of course no one stands to gain from it. But done with the intention to seek guidance or help another take a lesson from it, the result is quite unimaginable. And this is what I am talking about.

 If you really think of it then you would come to realise that we all go through challenges every single day. So then why live in denial, pretending all is well when we should ideally be applauding and learning from each other’s struggles. To us our own problem seems the biggest. We cannot look beyond it. But it is only when you open up and talk about it, that you will inevitably realise that there is someone out there who is facing similar circumstances. After all the cause of human suffering or misery lies in a handful of problems – ill health, financial disturbances, troubled relationships, death of a loved one, job stress etc. Each one of us has been plagued by one or more of these at some point in our lives. Each of us has suffered. So then why should we be afraid of sharing our painful journey with each other? Why restrain our conversations to the good happenings of our lives and overlook the other aspect as if it never existed?

I have certainly worked on this trait in my behaviour and I find it much easier to reach out to others now. I have learnt to be more empathetic and respectful, more tolerant and caring. Through guidance from others I have crossed many a hurdle that has come my way. And through encouragement I have imparted hope and courage to others. Do you belong to either side – recipient or giver?