Journey of Faith

Jiro Abe, a well known Japanese philosopher asserted: “The greatest source of strength in any situation is philosophy.”

I couldn’t agree more with the gentleman. I was extremely blessed and fortunate to fall back on philosophy in the darkest phase of my life. The timing was just so perfect. It gave me a solid foundation and pulled me out of the suffering I was going through. My life took on a whole new dimension – I became happy once again. Earlier my happiness came from people and things around. Now I learnt to find it within and therefore it hasn’t faded away. Each day I wake up to find myself happy and ready to take on the challenges I face.  It has been a whole new process of self discovery. Bit by bit I tapped into the reservoir of courage and wisdom inside me. I found the answers I’d been looking for and then it felt as if the world is my stage.

Like with most things that take a while for me to get my heart and soul into, this new journey of faith was no different. The start was slow with the initial hiccups. But somehow I kept at it because what it gave me was immeasurable hope and courage.

Every time I chanted (Nam myoho renge kyo) I felt refreshed and rejuvenated like having found a new lease of life. I am reminded of an example my friend once cited to me in relation to this. He said that you might have the perfect recipe for an ice cream but unless you have had one on a hot summer afternoon you would never really know the pleasure of licking into one. Knowing the recipe is one thing and the experience of licking into one is quite another. It is much like that with faith too. The joy can be derived only after putting it into practice.

I am glad I gave myself the chance to experience it because there has been no looking back since then. After six months of dilly-dallying I finally took the next step in faith - My cousin told me that Buddhist meetings are held at weekends; at member’s homes and that I must attend one of those.  I didn’t go for it out of sheer laziness. Finally one day an unknown number flashed on my mobile. I took the call and a cheerful and happy voice responded on the other side. “Is this Shruti? Hi my name is Ajanta. I’d like to come and visit you sometime today and invite you to our big Buddhism meeting tomorrow” or some such thing she said. (Allow me to make errors in giving the accurate details of the conversation as I am trying to recall something that happened 6 years ago.) A few minutes later the doorbell rang and I rushed to open the door. In the few minutes of conversation that followed with Ajanta, before she handed me the invite, I couldn’t help but notice two things about her: One was her radiant face beaming with joy and the second was that her mobile rang too often with someone at the other end inquiring about preparation details for the meeting the next day. I thought to myself that this must be something big. Ajanta’s sincerity and youthful vigour touched my heart. I decided to go and take a look.

The day of the meeting was a hot Sunday afternoon. For a moment I was tempted to drop the idea of going there. Had I been alone I surely would not have gone but I was going with a friend who insisted I come along. With a mind full of questions and expectations Shivani and I hopped into an auto rickshaw and headed to the IPC hall in Hauz Khas Enclave. That was the venue for this meeting as it would be a larger gathering this time I was told. It wasn’t much of a struggle finding the place as a colourful festoon saying ‘Chapter level Youth Division Meeting’ hung outside. The two words ‘Youth division’ made me smile because I belonged to that category back then and it meant that the evening would be ‘youthful’ and not a boring one.  That relieved my anticipation of a lecture kind of evening.

Two boys dressed in formals directed the flow of traffic outside the gate so that it wouldn’t cause inconvenience to others. As we entered the gate, unfamiliar faces greeted us with a warm smile. A lot of them seemed to know each other as they exchanged hugs and pleasantries. It was a warm happy atmosphere and instantly Shivani and I felt relaxed. Before being escorted to the auditorium we were asked to write our names in the guestbook. Everything happened in an organised systematic manner. People waited their turn at the cue without any fuss. That created a positive first impression for me.

The auditorium was huge with a capacity for about 300 people. Till then I had no idea that such a beautiful auditorium was cosily tucked away in the heart of the capital. There was something nice about the personality of the space itself. A cleanliness freak that I am the first thing that caught my eye was that everything around was spotlessly clean – white exterior of the building, well manicured lawns outside the auditorium, the carpeted auditorium and youngsters clad casually in jeans and tee hurriedly finishing the last bit of vacuum cleaning left.  

We had reached early and therefore got a chance to see all the last minute preparations. I spotted Ajanta in the distance. She hurriedly came running towards us with a group of youngsters and introduced us to her sister Ellora and the others with her. It never felt like we were meeting for the first time. The liking was instant and I felt part of this big family. She signalled us to take a seat in the front.

With still a few minutes to go before the start of the programme we exchanged few words with those sitting around. Some said they were new and I was surprised to overhear a young lad telling his friend that he had been practising for ten years. Judging by his appearance I was taken aback because he had the quirkiest hairstyle and seemed to be all of 16. He didn’t convey the impression of being someone who followed faith seriously. (And did he start at 6?) He was bluffing for sure. With this monologue in my mind I turned to give him an inquisitive glance. He almost seemed to read my mind and blurt out – “u bet”. I turned back embarrassed only to be relieved as the lights were dimmed at this point.

What followed in the next one and a half hour or so proved to be a huge turning point in my life - It sparked my commitment to faith forever. The programme started with a cultural section where there was song and dance followed by a presentation all of which gave a deeper insight into the philosophy. It was well rehearsed as the performances were flawless. (I wondered when they must have found time to put up a show like this as all of them must have been students)

Then 3-4 girls and boys in their teenage shared real life accounts of their struggle in life and how they had been able to overcome their problems through faith. For the first time I had heard personal stories being shared at a public forum which left an indelible impression on my mind. I was inspired and motivated. The accounts I heard were not very different from what I was going through. I heard a few sobs around as I was moved to tears myself.

Every experience shared that day was a unique story of self transformation. It takes a lot of courage to stand up before a room full of people and admit our own shortcomings. They were ordinary stories - of someone overcoming their ego to restore a loving relationship; someone standing up like a pillar of support for the entire family when times were tough; someone overcoming the suffering resulting from a serious illness. And yet these ordinary accounts became the most extraordinary stories for me. The teller of these stories became heroes in my eyes and for many others whom they inspired. I marvelled at their courage and sincerity. I promised myself that if they could win so can I.

 As the evening drew to a close I had experienced a whole gamut of emotions. But the one that stayed with me was a new found determination within; Determination to win in my life and polish my heart of faith.

(P.S - I didn’t have a camera with me that evening to record the incidents. This write up is also to chronicle the events of that memorable day for safekeeping. It is also to express my gratitude to all those who find their names here. If I hadn’t met each one of you, life wouldn’t be the same. So a big thank you. )